Monday, 9 July 2018

'The Girl of Your Dreams' by Niamh Stewart

The Girl of Your Dreams 

She’s right there. Right in front of your eyes. Flesh and bone. Sun glints on her hair and her eyes are wide - but maybe a little tired. She’s always spending her nights dreaming without sleeping, and the day time the same. You’ve thought about her since you knew what beauty was. Since you first caught a glimpse of a magazine cover, and saw that supermodel with the shining white smile and flawless tanned skin. 

She’s walking closer now, and you can see the smattering of freckles hiding beneath her makeup a faint white mark on her forehead from that time she fell as a kid. But it just proves she’s human, she’s actually real. There’s a red cut in the perfect pink of her lips that give away the anxious tick of biting at them. Her hair frames her face in a way that makes you want to sit down and draw her, even when you’re not a great artist. But clearly someone was, to have sculpted her out from cheek bones to legs. To have found that shade that glows in her eyes. To have taken the care with each line and curve and put it all together in front of you. 


Of course she’s not perfect. But it all makes her, her. The white bumpy scars that tell you a story; like the first time she tried to cook, now marked in her hand forever. Or the shadows under her eyes cause she’s addicted to her tv shows and just had to watch one more episode before bed. That stain on her t-shirt when she was trying to tell a joke whilst eating her lunch - a streak of brown gravy against the creamy white cotton. But the joke was still good. She can make you and your friends laugh. And she looks so content when she does, glad to bring some light to people. Her teeth take over her face in joy; not the dazzling white of the supermodel, but her smile is real and it’s then she’s at her prettiest. She isn’t the perfect beautiful you’d dreamt when you were younger. Her skin is isn’t perfectly bronzed and smooth, but you can see she’s comfortable in it. And there’s that tummy sneaking over her waistband that tells you she loves ice cream too much to care - tummy or not. 


Of course she isn’t that beautiful. Your dreams were always changing. In the moment before you saw her you still weren’t sure what you wanted. But she’s as close as you’ve ever gotten. But you have to ask yourself, what’s changed? She’s the same girl that appears in the mirror every morning. I think you’re just learning to love her.

- Niamh Stewart
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